Your partner is fast asleep. You’re wide awake.
You’ve nudged them.
They’ve rolled over.
The snoring stopped for approximately 30 glorious seconds.
And then it started again.
If this is a familiar nightly routine, you’re far from alone. And while snoring is often treated as a problem belonging to the person making the noise, there’s another side to the story that deserves much more attention:
What is snoring doing to the person sleeping next to them?
Recent BBC News coverage has put the spotlight on the impact sleeping beside a snorer can have on a partner’s sleep and wellbeing.
And it raises an important question.
If your partner’s snoring is keeping you awake night after night, when does their snoring become your sleep problem too?
Image: BBC News
Your partner might sleep through their snoring. You don't.
Snoring happens when structures in the tongue, mouth, throat or nasal airways relax and vibrate as air moves through them during sleep.
The person snoring may be completely unaware that it is happening.
Their partner usually isn’t so lucky.
There’s the initial noise, followed by the nudging, repositioning, pillow over the head, earplugs and, for some couples, eventually giving up and moving to another room.
But the issue isn’t simply that snoring is annoying.
Repeatedly having your sleep disturbed can make it harder to get the consistent, restorative sleep you need.
Research examining partners of snorers has found evidence of increased sleep fragmentation when sleeping beside a snoring partner. Other research involving couples where one partner was being investigated for obstructive sleep apnoea found that reducing the patient's snoring and obstructive breathing events was associated with improved sleep efficiency and continuity in their partner.
In other words, one person's nighttime noise really can become another person's sleep disruption.
Why am I absolutely exhausted?
Spending eight hours in bed doesn’t always mean you’ve had eight hours of good sleep.
When the person next to you is snoring, you might wake up several times throughout the night without really thinking much of it. You nudge them, they roll over, the snoring stops for a while and eventually you drift back off.
But by morning, you can feel like you’ve barely slept at all.
You’re tired even though you went to bed early. Your concentration isn’t quite there. You’re more irritable than usual and wondering why you feel so exhausted after what should have been a full night’s sleep.
Meanwhile, the person who kept you awake is somehow looking remarkably well rested.
Once or twice, it’s frustrating. When it becomes your normal night after night, it can start to have a much bigger impact on how you feel during the day.
When snoring starts affecting more than sleep
Snoring doesn’t just affect how well you sleep. Over time, it can start changing how you sleep as a couple.
Maybe you’ve started heading to bed first, hoping you’ll be asleep before the snoring starts. You’ve tried earplugs, nudging them to roll over or giving them a slightly less gentle elbow at 3am.
And when none of that works, one of you ends up on the sofa or in the spare room just so you can finally get some peace.
For some couples, sleeping separately can eventually become the norm, not because they want to, but because it feels like the only way they can both get a decent night’s sleep.
It’s something the NHS takes seriously too. Their guidance recommends speaking to a GP if snoring is having a significant impact on your life or your partner’s.
Because while only one of you might be doing the snoring, both of you can end up feeling the effects.
So what can you do if your partner snores?
The first step is understanding that not all snoring has the same cause.
Snoring can occur when different parts of the airway narrow or vibrate during sleep, including the nose, mouth, tongue and throat.
That means something that works brilliantly for one person may do very little for another.
There are some simple changes worth exploring.
Sleeping on your side may help some people who snore more when sleeping on their back.
Reducing alcohol, particularly close to bedtime, may also help because alcohol can contribute to relaxation of the tissues involved in snoring.
Smoking can contribute to snoring too.
If nasal congestion or obstruction is involved, addressing the nasal component may be appropriate.
And if the snoring appears to originate from the tongue or throat, solutions designed specifically around that mechanism may be worth exploring.
The important thing is identifying why someone is snoring rather than endlessly trying products that address completely different causes.
When snoring shouldn't be ignored
There's an important distinction between snoring and obstructive sleep apnoea.
Snoring itself is extremely common and isn't usually caused by anything serious.
However, loud snoring can also occur alongside obstructive sleep apnoea, a condition in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts during sleep.
And interestingly, the partner may be the first person to notice the warning signs.
If you're lying beside someone every night, you may notice things they cannot.
Watch out for symptoms including:
Breathing repeatedly stopping and starting during sleep
Gasping, snorting or choking noises
Loud habitual snoring
Frequent waking
Significant daytime tiredness
Difficulty concentrating
Morning headaches
If you notice these symptoms, encourage your partner to speak to their GP or another qualified healthcare professional.
Snoring shouldn't simply be masked when there are signs that something more significant could be happening.
What if the snoring comes from the tongue and throat?
This is where Zeus comes in.
Zeus is a non invasive wearable device designed for suitable tongue and throat based snoring.
Rather than sitting inside the mouth, Zeus is worn underneath the chin while you sleep.
It uses gentle neuromuscular electrical stimulation to activate the muscles involved in maintaining the upper airway, helping bring the tongue forward and reduce suitable tongue and throat based snoring.
There are 10 stimulation levels, allowing users to find a comfortable setting for them, and after a 20 minute delay Zeus begins working while you sleep.
No mouthguard.
No bulky machine.
And importantly for the person lying next to you, the aim is a quieter night.
Zeus has also been evaluated in published clinical research.
But Zeus isn't intended to diagnose or treat sleep apnoea, and it isn't the right solution for every type of snoring. If you or your partner experiences symptoms that could indicate sleep apnoea, seek appropriate medical advice first.
Because sometimes the person who needs a better night's sleep isn't the person snoring
Snoring has been laughed about for generations.
We've all heard the jokes.
The elbow in the ribs.
The pillow over the ears.
The desperate attempt to fall asleep first.
But if you're regularly waking up exhausted because of somebody else's snoring, it's reasonable to take it seriously.
Your partner may be making the noise.
But you're losing the sleep.
So rather than accepting another night of nudging, earplugs and negotiations over who gets the spare room, it might be time to understand what's causing the snoring and explore what can be done about it.
Because a quieter night shouldn't only benefit the person who snores.
You deserve a good night's sleep too.
Is your partner keeping you awake?
If their snoring appears to come from the tongue or throat, discover whether Zeus could be suitable for them.
Zeus is intended to help reduce suitable tongue and throat based snoring. It is not a diagnostic tool and is not intended to replace medical advice. If you or your partner experiences pauses in breathing, gasping or choking during sleep, excessive daytime sleepiness or other symptoms of sleep apnoea, speak to a GP or qualified healthcare professional.
